Shame at looking with pleasure at shape, color, moves, without demanding to know sense; shame that I would invite significance to obtund the sensational intensity of immediate perception.

Shame at being an older dancer; shame at being ashamed of being an older dancer.

Shame that I have become focused on what’s interesting more than on what’s true, the latter evasive, changeable, the former less abstract, always present; shame at hubris of presuming to see beneath the actual.

Shame at reluctance to believe in art as artifice only (imagine my success!); shame that I ever left California fields for New York City stages.

Excerpt from Aidos, Douglas Dunn, 2015

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Image credit: CRAG, Photo by Boyd Hagen, 2019

Dancers L to R: Douglas Dunn, Jake Szczypek, Acée Francis Laird, Christopher Williams,

Janet Charleston, Emily Pope, Jin Ju Song-Begin, Kara Hestevold, Grazia Della-Terza

Costumes: Andrew Jordan

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